Change

Hi, so recently I have noticed that I have sort of changed. I can't really place my finger on how I have changed or when it happened but I know that I am a bit different now then I was last school year. A lot went down this summer that had a long lasting effect on me. This includes me breaking up with my boyfriend that I had for a year and three weeks, some friendships were lost, some were created, I re-realized that life is super short, my brother hit a moose which may not seem like such a life altering thing for me but it was, and just a lot of new things occurred to me over the summer. The other day I asked one of my amazing best friends if she had noticed a change in me. She took her time answering and told me that not really. Although, as always with her, she had a big long winded explanation behind it. She pointed out some good facts and made things clearer for me. I may have changed a tiny bit but that's because where I noticed the change I was getting more comfortable. I had accepted the way things were and I adapted to fit in. I had found that I had become okay with myself in that situation unlike I had before. May I add that this slight change took years! I never thought that I didn't enjoy that situation just because I wasn't warmed up to the people in it. I had felt like an outcast and now I somewhat, I wouldn't say completely, fit in. Last night showed me that I make my own destiny. I am who I am and anyone that has an issue with that can either tell me or just leave. Not everyone is going to get along and be all "let's hold hands and sing". We all need a little bit of uncomfortable to show us that we will be alright.

I am happy to be able to say that although that situation used to have me freaked out to the nines and yet so excited now it pretty much just makes me excited! :) I still do get the odd 'should I be here' and 'what am I doing here' thoughts but they get over run by 'oh my gosh! this is awesome' and 'I need to do this more often' and don't forget 'I am so happy that I stuck it out and kept coming!' I find that yes maybe things are hard in the beginning but as time goes by and you get more comfortable you can find that you may just surprise yourself. Things may just become easier and more fun and enjoyable. Another one of my awesome friends told me one time "It takes 20 days (or attempts) to make it stick." I believe that she is very right. You can't expect yourself to get everything on the first try. If you expect that then you should prepare yourself to be disappointed every once in a while. Well I better go study for math.

                                                      HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

ASHLEY