Oh time machine how I wish you were mine!

Well I was looking back on photos today and I realized that I have messed up a lot of friendships in the past! Looking back now I see what I was missing and I wish that I could go back and change a few things.

But since I do not possess a time machine I will just have to change my future instead.

I need to just live in the moment and learn not to say whatever is on my mind. I need to just relax and let myself enjoy everything and everyone around me. I also need to stop getting into peoples business! I just like to be the center of things and I also think that I am getting tired of hanging out with certain people so I make new friends meaning that I lose the friends I used to have and I just keep doing that! I want to stop this behavior! I need to be more open and welcoming to the friends I already have! I need to focus more on them than on me!

Over the next few weeks I have a lot of work cut out for myself! Here is what I plan to work on:
- Me thinking that I have to be smaller
- Actually exercising to make me feel better about myself and to give me more energy
- Listening to my friends
- Hang out with them more (do things that they want to do; play x-box, watch movies, watch bull riding, make food, etc.)
- Learning the difference between what I want and what I think I need
- More studying! I felt slightly worried about my exams this semester
- Get a job (this means tweak my resume, go hand out said resumes, and wait)
- Start my amazing gift for my BIFFL! :)
- Bond with my loving roommate who has unfortunately had to deal with my stupid moods lately
- Get New Zealand figured out
- If the above thing doesn't work out, figure out what to do after college
- Look deep within myself to find out what I truly want to do in life
and last but not least
- Get more sleep while still accomplishing all of the above tasks
- Oh and yeah have fun ;)

I love college! I love college! I love college! If I keep repeating it, it may come true. Don't get me wrong I do love college and it is because of college I realized I had gone so wrong in my past, but I just wish that I could still be that little girl whose biggest worry was if mom would let me play outside as much as I wanted or if I could have a piece of candy if I was well behaved.

I don't want so many responsibilities and things that I have to make sure happen. I love the freedom but with freedom comes those damn responsibilities! I guess that is the price of growing up!

ASHLEY